Nice read 🙂 I did sleep train with my second (a gentler form, but still). My son seems absolutely fine, years on. We love each other massively. Was I close to losing my mind until I did it? Is bad sleep a massive trigger for my migraines? Was I on my knees? Yes. I just can't ever regret doing it. I'm probably going to get some criticism here but just giving the other side... Emily Oster also has some interesting points on the research into this. I think there are lots of "crossroads" moments in parenting and nobody is exempt from the paranoia of bad decisions, either way. That particular issue is just the very start of it.
I have chronic migraines and plan to have children with my partner in the (not so far away) future. Sleep and food are my biggest migraine triggers. And my biggest fears when it comes to parenthood. Glad to hear from someone who is on the other side of it :)
Just saw this and know it's off topic on sleep but needed to reassure you. My migraines are incredibly debilitating too and one of the reasons I was terrified to have children. I also have bad tinnitus and was incredibly scared that would worsen in pregnancy or after children. My migraines actually went away with my first pregnancy and didn't come back until I finished breastfeeding - bliss. They didn't go away with my second pregnancy, unfortunately (don't know why - different sex so different hormones?!), but even so... My first child slept through the night by six months all by herself, without any sleep training, and the migraines, as I say, stayed away until way beyond that. Although the migraines sadly have come back, they are the same as before children - they have not gotten worse. The only hard thing now is relying so much on my partner with childcare when one comes along, but isn't that what partnership is for? My tinnitus actually reduced massively after children and I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe my brain was so distracted, it just tuned all the different noises out?! The point of this essay is that a lot of fears don't come to pass so don't let it hold you back 🤗
That’s so good to hear, thank you 🥰 it’s good to hear that someone has managed it. And I know looking back that I worried about a lot of thing of things and somehow still ended up right here and everything is fine. Babies, pregnancy and migraines can feel like a big block in my head that I don’t know how to get around. But just like you said, you don’t how your body will react. And I do have a lovely partner who will also support me then. So maybe I’ll just try my best and see what will happen. And talk to my neurologist when it’s time 😅
Lack of sleep was a massive worry for me when choosing to have children. I now have a 4 month old that sleeps through the night and I haven’t done sleep training (I have no idea why, I think I’m just lucky). Sleepy babies do exist! I hope you are one of the lucky ones too!
You are not weak for not being able to leave your babies crying! You are obeying your natural instincts! Who could possibly bear it… Philippa Perry said in The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read that to leave your child crying you had to shut down part of your soul (or something like that!) and I think that’s true. It’s a hard hearted person who could listen to their babies cry and do nothing… thank you for encouraging others to listen to their hearts!
Yes, yes, YES to not sleep training. Say it louder for the ones in the back. You're definitely not weak for not sleep training and for listening to your instincts. 💞
Thank you for writing this! I love all the advice and experiences you’ve shared! My toddler gets upset in the pram facing out so maybe I need to turn him back around to face me!! Seems silly but I didn’t even THINK of that! Also LOVE what you said about sleep training and co sleeping! I relate, I lay with my 2 year old until he goes to sleep and it’s so time consuming but I don’t want him to feel unsafe and cry! I don’t think you are weak, I actually think you are strong for listening you your instincts on this! ❤️
I agree wholeheartedly. We’ve done most of this with our daughter too. I can’t think of anything more important than your child knowing you’re there for them, even if it means lying in bed every night for an hour x
Am I a mother? No. Do I plan on being a mother? No. Did I read all of this with great interest? Yes!
Nice read 🙂 I did sleep train with my second (a gentler form, but still). My son seems absolutely fine, years on. We love each other massively. Was I close to losing my mind until I did it? Is bad sleep a massive trigger for my migraines? Was I on my knees? Yes. I just can't ever regret doing it. I'm probably going to get some criticism here but just giving the other side... Emily Oster also has some interesting points on the research into this. I think there are lots of "crossroads" moments in parenting and nobody is exempt from the paranoia of bad decisions, either way. That particular issue is just the very start of it.
I have chronic migraines and plan to have children with my partner in the (not so far away) future. Sleep and food are my biggest migraine triggers. And my biggest fears when it comes to parenthood. Glad to hear from someone who is on the other side of it :)
Just saw this and know it's off topic on sleep but needed to reassure you. My migraines are incredibly debilitating too and one of the reasons I was terrified to have children. I also have bad tinnitus and was incredibly scared that would worsen in pregnancy or after children. My migraines actually went away with my first pregnancy and didn't come back until I finished breastfeeding - bliss. They didn't go away with my second pregnancy, unfortunately (don't know why - different sex so different hormones?!), but even so... My first child slept through the night by six months all by herself, without any sleep training, and the migraines, as I say, stayed away until way beyond that. Although the migraines sadly have come back, they are the same as before children - they have not gotten worse. The only hard thing now is relying so much on my partner with childcare when one comes along, but isn't that what partnership is for? My tinnitus actually reduced massively after children and I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe my brain was so distracted, it just tuned all the different noises out?! The point of this essay is that a lot of fears don't come to pass so don't let it hold you back 🤗
That’s so good to hear, thank you 🥰 it’s good to hear that someone has managed it. And I know looking back that I worried about a lot of thing of things and somehow still ended up right here and everything is fine. Babies, pregnancy and migraines can feel like a big block in my head that I don’t know how to get around. But just like you said, you don’t how your body will react. And I do have a lovely partner who will also support me then. So maybe I’ll just try my best and see what will happen. And talk to my neurologist when it’s time 😅
Lack of sleep was a massive worry for me when choosing to have children. I now have a 4 month old that sleeps through the night and I haven’t done sleep training (I have no idea why, I think I’m just lucky). Sleepy babies do exist! I hope you are one of the lucky ones too!
You are not weak for not being able to leave your babies crying! You are obeying your natural instincts! Who could possibly bear it… Philippa Perry said in The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read that to leave your child crying you had to shut down part of your soul (or something like that!) and I think that’s true. It’s a hard hearted person who could listen to their babies cry and do nothing… thank you for encouraging others to listen to their hearts!
Ps. I’ve co-slept and breastfed my daughters for nearly 6 years… these are the special times
Yes, yes, YES to not sleep training. Say it louder for the ones in the back. You're definitely not weak for not sleep training and for listening to your instincts. 💞
Co sleeping is where it’s at 🙌 I would be so happy if you were interviewed by @louiseperry on mom stuff
Thank you for writing this! I love all the advice and experiences you’ve shared! My toddler gets upset in the pram facing out so maybe I need to turn him back around to face me!! Seems silly but I didn’t even THINK of that! Also LOVE what you said about sleep training and co sleeping! I relate, I lay with my 2 year old until he goes to sleep and it’s so time consuming but I don’t want him to feel unsafe and cry! I don’t think you are weak, I actually think you are strong for listening you your instincts on this! ❤️
Nothing lovelier than watching your child see the world from their buggy. Loved this ❤️
Such a useful post. thank you🙏🏼
I agree wholeheartedly. We’ve done most of this with our daughter too. I can’t think of anything more important than your child knowing you’re there for them, even if it means lying in bed every night for an hour x
Love this. I was due yesterday with our first so taking any advice in particular with the breastfeeding as we play the waiting game. Thanks.